The Dirty Mistress and the ExWife
by BringMeThatHorizon
Summary: My version of Addison talking sense into Meredith when she comes back to Seattle in 4x12, Piece of My Heart. Takes place after Philip's surgery in a supply closet. I used some quotes from Addie's real speech too. R&R please!


**A/N: This is my first fanfic for Grey's, and I'm a bit nervous and excited at the same time. It's just a short little conversation I wish Addie and Mer could have had when Addie came back to SGH in "Piece of My Heart." It starts with that adorable scene w/ the hands, after the first clinial trial surgery. Enjoy, and please review! :)**

**Disclaimer: Meredith, Derek, Addison, and Seattle Grace Hospital belong to Shonda Rhimes, ABC, etc.**

* * *

"I got my hopes up," Meredith admitted, walking slowly down the hallway.

Derek looked up sadly for a moment before he continued walking. "Yeah," he said, "Me too."

"Dr. Shepherd—" Meredith began.

"Yes?" Derek turned around.

Meredith sighed, her expression tired from the surgery. "It was… a pleasure working with you today." She held out her hand hesitantly, the corners of her lips curving upward oh so slightly. Derek grasped her hand, and they gave each other small, friendly smiles. He held on a moment longer than necessary, his thumb stroking the top of her hand as they both saw through each other's masks.

"Dr. Grey," said Derek in farewell as they withdrew their hands. Meredith watched him approach the elevator before turning around herself and walking to the nurses' desk around the corner of the hallway to fill in Philip's hospital chart.

"Chart please, for Philip Robinson," Meredith said, stifling a yawn and holding her hand out for the familiar grey folder. She thanked the nurse and flipped it open on the counter, reaching into her pocket for a pen.

"Meredith," said a familiarly stern voice. Meredith looked up to find Addison standing before her, staring at her with an expression that told Meredith everything.

"Dr. Montgomery," said Meredith blankly, hoping to avoid the unavoidable topic.

"Come on, Meredith, stop pretending," said Addison firmly, grabbing Meredith by the arm and leading her into the supply closet across the hall. Meredith snatched the chart off the counter at the last minute.

"What exactly are you doing?" she inquired inside the closet, rubbing her arm while Addison shut the door and turned the light on. The silver racks of the supply shelves shone in the dim illumination, and Meredith sat down at the base of one and leaned back against a stack of boxes labeled _Gauze. _Addison had never been this spontaneous before, and Meredith was unsure about what to think of this. She'd gone into a linen closet once, and had once found Addison in a supply cloest, but Izzie and Cristina had been the only ones to interrupt what she was doing to have what seemed to be an emergency conversation.

"Talking, lecturing you, whatever you want to call it," said Addison, pacing up and down the limited floor space.

"Excuse me," said Meredith, her expression half amused, half confused. "I'm um… I'm working."

"Yes, I _realize _that," Addison shouted exasperatedly, "But while I'm here I'm a visiting attending, _you're_ a resident, therefore I'm your boss and I'm telling you to stop your charting and listen."

Meredith's expression became a little more alarmed. She put down the chart and her pen. "Are you… okay?"

"No! I'm not okay, because clearly _you _are out of your mind!"

Meredith raised her eyebrows, wondering if Addison was even talking about her situation with Derek. "Sorry?"

"Look, Meredith, I _saw_ that, okay? I _saw_ the handshake out in the hall, and the staring and the smiling, and the 'Dr. Shepherd' and 'Dr. Grey'."

"Are you spying on me?"

"Don't flatter yourself," said Addison, rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm just saying that I _saw_ what happened out there and it just can't be more obvious that you two are still in love with each other!"

There was a short silence. Meredith shifted her eyes to look down at the suture kits in the shelf behind the spot where Addison was standing.

"There were _so _many times I wish I didn't have to hear your voice, Meredith," said Addison, clearly still frustrated. "But right now, I'd _really_ like for you to say something!"

Meredith sighed and shook her head.

"I don't do this," she said, looking back up at Addison. "I don't do the thing where I pour out all my feelings and think that you care. I don't do this, and I'm not planning on ever starting."

"No, I'm not _asking _you to 'pour out all your feelings,' or whatever because honestly, I _don't_ care all that much," Addison sighed. "I'm asking you _why_ you're not with Derek anymore!"

Meredith looked away and gave up trying to hold it together.

"He kissed a nurse, when we… were together."

Addison's jaw dropped and she threw her hands up into the air.

"The scrub nurse, right. So he kissed a nurse. He _kissed a nurse_. You and Derek broke up over a _kiss_?! You know—"

"No, he said I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. And that I was finding reasons not to trust him. Look, Addison, it just wasn't working, okay? So we broke up."

Addison rolled her eyes again. "Okay, fine. So you're just going to let Derek ride off into the sunset with that…doe-eyed scrub nurse?!"

"What's with you and your sunsets and cheery happy endings?"

"It's an LA thing," explained Addison, brushing off the new subject. When she spoke again, her voice was suddenly intense and passionate. "Meredith, listen to me. I got a divorce because of you. I gave up my _marriage_, eleven and a half _years _of marriage to the most _perfect _man, because we were making progress at last when I find your panties in his pocket. And I let him go. I loved him _so much_. But I let him go! I let him go, because he knew, and you knew, and _I _knew that when Derek found you, he'd found the love of his life. And I was willing to give it up, I was _willing _to give up the marriage, the last eleven and a half years of my life, the perfect guy, because I believed you two could have a happy ending together. I gave up that much, Meredith, and I leave to try to find my own happy ending, and I come back after a few months to find out that you've thrown that all away?! _Meredith_! What the hell is wrong with you?! God, I want to kick your ass so badly!"

Meredith let her head fall back on the hard metal rack, closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry I ruined your marriage," she whispered. "When I… when I met him, he didn't tell me. I didn't know until you came to Seattle. I just… I can't… maybe it's too late. Maybe it just won't work. I'm sorry… about your marriage…"

"No," said Addison, shaking her head. "_No_."

Meredith opened her eyes. Addison had sat down as well and she was rubbing her face with her hands.

"What?"

"_No. _You do not get to apologize. You do _not _get to apologize for ruining my marriage. You do _not _get to give up like that, because I did not let my marriage get ruined by you just so you could let some scrub nurse take everything away. Because—" Addison stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. "—I _know_, Meredith, I _know_ how amazing Derek is, and… just the way he looks at you!"

For the first time that day, Meredith really looked at Addison and let down her guard completely.

"He's never looked at me like that before," whispered Addison.

Meredith took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

"I'm just… I'm just _so exhausted_," she sighed. "And… I don't think I'm ready, either."

The two women sat on the floor of the supply closet for a few minutes, staring at the floor and thinking about the one thing they had in common.

"Well," said Addison at last, standing up. "I have to go meet Callie and Erica at Joe's for a bit and then I have a plane to catch."

Meredith nodded. "Hope LA stays nice for you," she said, picking up the chart again and flipping it open.

"Thanks. But Meredith," Addison said in a slightly warning tone, as she stepped outside.

"Yeah?"

"_Get _ready. Because you _do not _want to know what I'm going to do to you if you let Derek do this."

Meredith sighed deeply, thinking about her therapy sessions, and nodded.

"Okay. Okay, I'll try."

Addison gave her a faint smile and closed the door behind her, leaving Meredith to fill in the charts with their conversation playing over and over in her mind and the top of her hand still tingling from Derek's touch.


End file.
